When Star Wars Had Cool Characters
I am 30 years old. 30. I am married and have a daughter. I am a parent. Why do I still love Star Wars?
I fell in love with Star Wars as a kid. I was the perfect age for the toys and movies. Every Christmas there would be oodles and oodles of Star Wars action figures, vehicles, books, punching bags, shrinky dinks and whatever else nestled under my Christmas Tree. I know kids ordinarily play with these toys once and up in the attic they go. Not me...I was obsessed. I would watch the original trilogy as much as I could...every waking moment. I would photograph my figures in battle scenes. Living in Boston, the seasons always created my background. Winter was always Hoth. April Showers brought Dagobah. Summer was all about Tatooine. Fall was Endor. It was magnificent. I always felt bad for the kids who playes with GI Joe guys. They were in a much less significant league than I. I will always cherish the times with my brothers and friends building ewok villages and snow castles. Having Lightsabre battles. Pretending we were Luke and Han in the woods. Such fun times.
I didn't mind the new trilogy. They were O.K. I had issues as a Star Wars purist. The great thing about the original trilogy were the locations. They seemed real. It wasn't computer generated snow in Empire. Cloud City had a beautiful set. It wasn't green screened. The new ones looked fake. Even the characters in Jabbas palace looked more "real" than frickin Jar Jar. George Lucas was showing off with his computer team and special effects. The reason why we loved the special effects in the original trilogy was because they seemed hand made. Very little computer animation.
Most of all we loved the characters. Sure Ewan McGregor was cool, but that was about it. I enjoyed the dialogue and the actions of the old characters. Anyway, I am not here to bitch about the new ones. I want to pay homage to the original.
Here Are My Top Ten Coolest Star Wars Characters Ever:
1. Boba Fett- He had the coolest outfit. The coolest voice. The coolest weapons. The coolest ship. I hated his new back story form Episode II. Another wasted opportunity. Still, "Put Captain Solo in the cargo hold" is such a kick-ass line!
2. Jabba the Hut- I was scared to death of seeing him on the big screen. He was the most fantastic creation I had seen on film. Why did Lucas had to go and computer animate him for the prequels. Again, he looked more realistic in 1983 than in 1999. I loved it when he killed his dancing girl. Good on ya Jabba.
3. Max Rebo- The blue keyboard playing alien in Jabba's Palace. He kind of looked like a cross between an anteater, a smurf and an elephant. The way he jammed on his keyboard was so awesome. I never knew a muppet could rock so hard.
4. Han Solo- Obviously. The guy was a friggin Pimp! He lied, cheated and stole and was a GOOD GUY. He was the guy who smoked in high school. He was the kid stealing hood ornaments in junior high. He was the dude getting thrown out of the movies for making out with a chick in the back row. I wish I was more like him. "Maybe you'd like it better back in your cell, your highness." Pimp!
5. Wedge- The guy blew up the 2nd Death Star. I always marvelled at Wedge's promotions throughout the original trilogy. He went from Red 2 to Rogue 2 to Red Leader. That's like going from the mailroom to CEO in 1 year. Wedge never got the credit which he deserves. He was probably the best and luckiest pilot in the rebellion.
6. Admiral Ackbar- The leader of the rebellion's sneak attack on the 2nd Death Star looked like a lobster. "Concentrate all fire on that Superstar Destroyer !" Awesome delivery of a line. Kudos Ackbar!
7. Gold Leader (original Star Wars)- During the trench run in the 1st Death Star, I always dug the way the guy said this line..."Switch to Targeting Computer." He got his ass blown up a few seconds later, but still he must've done something right to become a high ranking pilot.
8. Walrus Man and the Other Guy who OB1 kills in the Cantina-"You better watch yourself, we're wanted men, I have the death penalty on twelve systems!" The guy has got to be cool. Homeboy must have done some crazy shit warranting that many death penalties. I'll be careful. "You'll be dead!!!!"
9. Lobot- Clud City Security. He didn't do much. He totally rocked those headphones though. He also saved Leia and Chewie from Stormtroopers. Lando's right hand man.
10. Sarlacc Pit-"You will be slowly digested over a million years." He supposedly killed Fett, props to the Pit.
I fell in love with Star Wars as a kid. I was the perfect age for the toys and movies. Every Christmas there would be oodles and oodles of Star Wars action figures, vehicles, books, punching bags, shrinky dinks and whatever else nestled under my Christmas Tree. I know kids ordinarily play with these toys once and up in the attic they go. Not me...I was obsessed. I would watch the original trilogy as much as I could...every waking moment. I would photograph my figures in battle scenes. Living in Boston, the seasons always created my background. Winter was always Hoth. April Showers brought Dagobah. Summer was all about Tatooine. Fall was Endor. It was magnificent. I always felt bad for the kids who playes with GI Joe guys. They were in a much less significant league than I. I will always cherish the times with my brothers and friends building ewok villages and snow castles. Having Lightsabre battles. Pretending we were Luke and Han in the woods. Such fun times.
I didn't mind the new trilogy. They were O.K. I had issues as a Star Wars purist. The great thing about the original trilogy were the locations. They seemed real. It wasn't computer generated snow in Empire. Cloud City had a beautiful set. It wasn't green screened. The new ones looked fake. Even the characters in Jabbas palace looked more "real" than frickin Jar Jar. George Lucas was showing off with his computer team and special effects. The reason why we loved the special effects in the original trilogy was because they seemed hand made. Very little computer animation.
Most of all we loved the characters. Sure Ewan McGregor was cool, but that was about it. I enjoyed the dialogue and the actions of the old characters. Anyway, I am not here to bitch about the new ones. I want to pay homage to the original.
Here Are My Top Ten Coolest Star Wars Characters Ever:
1. Boba Fett- He had the coolest outfit. The coolest voice. The coolest weapons. The coolest ship. I hated his new back story form Episode II. Another wasted opportunity. Still, "Put Captain Solo in the cargo hold" is such a kick-ass line!
2. Jabba the Hut- I was scared to death of seeing him on the big screen. He was the most fantastic creation I had seen on film. Why did Lucas had to go and computer animate him for the prequels. Again, he looked more realistic in 1983 than in 1999. I loved it when he killed his dancing girl. Good on ya Jabba.
3. Max Rebo- The blue keyboard playing alien in Jabba's Palace. He kind of looked like a cross between an anteater, a smurf and an elephant. The way he jammed on his keyboard was so awesome. I never knew a muppet could rock so hard.
4. Han Solo- Obviously. The guy was a friggin Pimp! He lied, cheated and stole and was a GOOD GUY. He was the guy who smoked in high school. He was the kid stealing hood ornaments in junior high. He was the dude getting thrown out of the movies for making out with a chick in the back row. I wish I was more like him. "Maybe you'd like it better back in your cell, your highness." Pimp!
5. Wedge- The guy blew up the 2nd Death Star. I always marvelled at Wedge's promotions throughout the original trilogy. He went from Red 2 to Rogue 2 to Red Leader. That's like going from the mailroom to CEO in 1 year. Wedge never got the credit which he deserves. He was probably the best and luckiest pilot in the rebellion.
6. Admiral Ackbar- The leader of the rebellion's sneak attack on the 2nd Death Star looked like a lobster. "Concentrate all fire on that Superstar Destroyer !" Awesome delivery of a line. Kudos Ackbar!
7. Gold Leader (original Star Wars)- During the trench run in the 1st Death Star, I always dug the way the guy said this line..."Switch to Targeting Computer." He got his ass blown up a few seconds later, but still he must've done something right to become a high ranking pilot.
8. Walrus Man and the Other Guy who OB1 kills in the Cantina-"You better watch yourself, we're wanted men, I have the death penalty on twelve systems!" The guy has got to be cool. Homeboy must have done some crazy shit warranting that many death penalties. I'll be careful. "You'll be dead!!!!"
9. Lobot- Clud City Security. He didn't do much. He totally rocked those headphones though. He also saved Leia and Chewie from Stormtroopers. Lando's right hand man.
10. Sarlacc Pit-"You will be slowly digested over a million years." He supposedly killed Fett, props to the Pit.
posted by Kip at 11:35 AM
1 Comments:
Seriously dude, lot's of time on your hands.
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